Stampers' Rules of Acquisition
(Original compilation by Deborah of the Rubber Stamper's Email List - copied
here by permission)
#1) You want it, therefore you need it.
#2) You need it, therefore you must buy it.
#3) All other things you need, including food, shelter, clothing, car insurance, and lunch
money, are incidental in comparison to what you need for stamping.
#4) Never add up the total for what you have purchased for stamping.
#5) "If you're not sure you should buy something.........for
*whatever* reason........if someone else says they have it and *like* it........then you
*have* to buy it!"
#6) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on
stamping and related items, never count things that are not actual stamps.
#7) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on stamping and related items,
never include items that cannot be traced via the receipt (i.e. -- office supplies are
office supplies, gift wrap is gift wrap -- never mind where it ends up in your house....)
#8) When writing checks from the joint checking account, always write "S.W." in
the check register.
You will know that this stands for Stamp Wares but DH will think it is Safeway when he
scans the checkbook to see where you have been shopping. And he KNOWS groceries are
expensive, and you need lots of them.... (editor's note: Substitute the grocery store in
for Safeway; here it would be Sentry...[S. is for....])
#9) If a member of your family discards an item that is usable for stamping, you may
replace it. For example, your husband receives a shirt as a gift - if he throws the tissue
paper away you may purchase a replacement. You do not have to replace it with the same
white tissue paper. This applies to candy bar wrappers that your kids throw away too,
however they are not permitted to eat the replacement candy!
#10) If everyone else wants it, then you must want it too -- even if you don't know what
it is. (case in point -- one word -- "blitzer")
#11) If everyone else wants it, even if you don't know what it is,
and you find it on sale, buy it ALL.
(Editor's note: This phenomenon is widely known as the SALE factor, and is the only
situation in which the Stamper may completely ignore Rules of Acquisition #6 and #7, and
announce gleefully how much money s/he has SAVED by purchasing said items. (This
suspending of the rules is dependent upon: a) the actual percentage off, b) the total
dollar amount spent c) the projected reaction of partner/other interested party. For more
detailed worksheet on Rule Suspension see Stampers' Rules of Acquisition Handbook -
Chapter 9, Sub-section C, Paragraph 14, and model
on facing page.)
#12) NEVER, NEVER let your DH read the Stamper's Rules of
Acquisition........for reasons OBVIOUS to the seasoned stamper. For those of you who are
newbies....does "the gig is up"
mean anything to you?
#13) Reconciling yourself early to the fact that every trip to the
store costs a minimum of $40, even if your intentions were to buy just
one sheet of sticker paper, will save you much anxiety and false guilt.
#14) Grabbags MUST be purchased at they time they are advertised. There very likely could
that ONE special stamp you cannot live without, and the others work for RAKS! If you don't
immediately, you may lose that special stamp.
#15) Keep *everything*, no matter how useless or ugly or small it may be. It *will* become
absolutely essential for a rubber project some day.
#16) When you buy something, use it before you read the directions.*
(*Acquisition reasoning -- if you mess it up or break it, you get to buy another one...)
#17) You can't take it with you applies only to money. Begin getting
your loved ones accustomed to the fact that you intend to be buried with
18) Stamping is an inexpensive hobby. This can be proved by applying
"Blondes' Logic" to your stamping purchases. For example, no hobby where
the supplies usually cost under $10 can possibly be as expensive as big
ticket, predominately male hobbies such as radio controlled airplanes,
restoring vintage automobiles, pro-team season tickets, etc. This just
#19) Every stamper MUST own every type of glue that is on the market. However, s/he may
restrict use to her/his favorite.
#20) Whenever a new stamp pad is made available, you must immediately purchase every one
of the colors in which it comes.
#21) When getting a stamp for a particular project it is imperative that you buy the same
from a variety of companies (a minimum of 3 is recommended). Once you actually sit down to
make the project you will find that it is much better that you have not limited your
selection to just one
option of the image.
#22) It is essential to have ALL the Fiskar edged scissors even if you know you won't use
anything but the deckle edge. You never know when having the Victorian hearts flourish
edge won't be PERFECT!
#23) Get all types of markers, don't limit your creativity to just Marveys and LePlumes.
Make sure you have a good selection of Tombows, Tria's and even the cheap kind you buy at
#24) The iron is NOT for clothes. Anyone who uses an iron for
clothes is excommunicated from the
Stamper's Union. (Editor's note: You may avoid excommunication by following subsection B
pursuant to rule #23 which in layman's terms translates as "you may use an iron for
its original perverted purpose only by purchasing an auxiliary iron. However, only the old
iron may be used for household purposes. Aforementioned perverted purpose is not one that
is condoned by the Stamper's Union and should be performed ONLY by support staff
#25) Tissue paper is for making envelopes and for hoarding. Never use it for wrapping
unless you have stamped on it first.
#26) There is absolutely NO such thing as too much paper...of any kind. Disregard nasty
about the two years worth of New York Times stashed in the boxes at the back of the
Corollaries here are: a-the complete set of National Geographics is worth the $150...they
are actually priceless. b-it is perfectly acceptable to save not only the wrapping paper
on your presents, but all
the wrapping paper on everyone's presents...c-EVERYTHING is exotic paper and should be
purchased and/or saved. Including the $24 a sheet stuff you saw at the specialty store.
#27) If you think there is a ghost of a chance that you might use it in a future project,
buy it now.
Cause if you need it later, you can bet a) you won't be able to find it, b) no one will
have heard of it and c) there won't be a substitute.
#28) A stamper must purchase appropriate storage containers, shelves, bins, units, etc.,
for all stamping related purchases. A stamper has the right and responsibility to discard
all previously purchased storage systems in order to purchase a new, more appropriate
system at any time.
#29) A corollary to number 18 above: Stamping actually saves money.
promotes the do-it-yourself philosophy. This is evident in the
activities of mounting your own, carving your own, and making your own
paper. By applying "Blondes' Logic" it can be concluded that you can't
afford not to stamp.
#30) Stamping is your civic duty. Think globally, act locally. Purchasing
stamps and supplies is politically correct for the following reasons:
1.) It supports a local business and reduces the number of unemployed;
2.) it promotes the arts and feeds starving artists (designers of
stamps); 3.) it supports minority owned businesses (many stamp companies
are run by women); and 4.) buying expensive, imported handmade paper
stimulates the economies of developing nations. Thus purchasing stamp
supplies is your civic duty. It logically follows that the world would be
a better place if everyone stamped. Write your congressmen today to
begin the process of passing legislation making it illegal not to stamp.
#31) If you happen upon a super rs-related deal somewhere and you
buy enough for
you and all your friends and your friends buy some from you--the money they
give you is free to be used to purchase MORE RS stuff, since it has been "
laundered" and isn't technically, coming out of your pocket!
#32 If, in the course of purchasing something, you also purchase
something for a friend, the cost of the friend's merchandise is totally exempt from
record-keeping. When she pays you back, it's "free money" and may be used
for any purpose, particularly
if it involves stamping supplies.
#33 A corollary to Rule #32 is that the money the friend pays back
is governed by the laws of "money saved," i.e., money you spend for someone else
is "money saved" when returned to you,
since you now did not spend that money. The proper phrasing is, "Honey, I
bought some cardstock for Sue and she paid me back...boy, did I save some money!"
#34 "Screw it, buy them all!"
Authors so far:
Andrea Shaw #27
Stampatti #19, #20, #24, #25
Deborah #1-4, #6, #7, #10, #16, #28, #31 & Editor's Notes
LN #21, #22, #23
Jody #14, #26
Jamie #5, 12
Sandy Hampson (A Bottle Blonde) # 13, 17, 18, 29 and 30
nlw #32 and 33